Prescription for Sexual Sanity--Dan Lightfoot1500

Open to Proverbs 7.

A. Sex.

To some, the very word grates on your ears & you want to retreat into your religious box Where such things are not discussed. Only perverts discuss such matters, right? Wrong.

1. The Bible discusses it at length in Proverbs & S. of Solomon, et. al.

2. God blessed us with sexuality, made us male & female, declared the marriage bed undefiled, commands & encourages sex in marriage, & states that if we abstain it should be for the purpose of prayer, & if denied for any selfish reason, then we have defrauded our partner & sinned against God.

3. Sexuality is not only perverted by the fornicators & adulterers outside of marriage,

but it is also perverted by those who cannot see marital sex as one of God's great blessings, & the pleasure as God-given.

4. But since sex can be perverted, & since that is usually where we focus our attention, that's where we will begin.

B. Read Prov. 7:4-27 and 5:1-6.

C. "Her ways are unstable and she does not know it."

1. Winston Churchill said, "The only thing worse than being at war, is being at war & not knowing it."

2. Sinners do not know they are at war with God. They are just doing what comes naturally. But it leads to death & they don't know it.

3. Listen to your father's instruction so you will know.

a. A lot has been said about early sexual education & the need for parents to provide a full education in the matter.

b. My parental education came this way: I was 16. Dad & I were getting in the car. He looked over the top of the car & said, "You haven't done anything you shouldn't ought to with a girl have you?" Shocked, I said, "Of course not, dad!" "OK, keep it that way. It'd kill your mother if you did."

c. That was all I needed to know. I knew what was right & what was wrong & I didn't want to kill my mother. We learn the rest as we go.

4. But the world that doesn't know right from wrong is at war with God.

I. Sexual Insanity

A. Seven modern statements of Sexual Insanity:

1. "Everybody is having sex."

a. The prevailing attitude is: if you're capable of having sex, it is inevitable that you will.

b. That was Colin Powell's basis for his advice on MTV that condom's should be used, & that they prevent infections.

2. "You can't live without sex."

3. "Sex is a natural part of any loving relationship."

4. "I deserve to live out the desires that I feel."

5. "My desires define what I was created to live out in my lifestyle."

a. Underline it. It's critical, foundational & far-reaching.

b. Our desires are defining us. Can you think of a group of people who are defined by their sexual orientation?

c. If one is experiencing the drive to do something, the belief is that it is one's inevitable future. It's determinism.

6. "My sex life does not affect my relationship with God."

7. "Biblical teachings on sex do not apply."

a. & when biblical teachings are considered, they are usually only considered as one of many sources, & we can pick & choose.

b. We're not ignoring them, but do not consider them any weightier than other considerations.

B. These create sexual insanity.

1. What we read in Prov. answers all 7. But let's look at a dif. angle.

2. The Bible calls on us to be pure. Free from sin/free from sexual sin.

3. Why is purity a good thing? --Bible teaches it? Yes, that's the precept.

4. But what good does it do you? --It's the Road map to great sex!

a. World thinks doing it as you please, as often… with anyone…is the map to sexual fulfillment. -- Not so! --That's one reason God put sexually transmitted diseases here; to teach us otherwise!

b. Satan is always in the wings to deceive us.

-- In Gen. 3 he caused Adam & Eve to doubt God…

-- & he's working on you right now! I'm telling you the scripture teaches us the way to have great sex -- & you're sitting there thinking, "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah"…

-- If he can get you to doubt God's way, he's got you!

c. Purity calls on you to stay away from any sexual encounters (petting, oral sex, mutual masturbation, pornography…) until you are married.

d. Once you are married, your bed is undefiled.

e. All research shows that the most sexually satisfied people are not the Hollywood gigolos but those in monogamous, long-term marriages.

f. The consequences of not doing it God's way are enormous.

C. I Cor. 6:9-20. (NIV) -- look at it.

1. 6:9-10 --"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders ¹⁰ nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

a. Take the last one, swindlers.

b. Christian man, caught embezzling. Trying to make restitution, repair his relationship with God, overcome the urge.

c. He says swindling people is exhilarating. Like being a secret agent / covert operations. Appeals to all the most basic male tendencies: risk, competition, winning, excitement, putting something over on others.

d. "Besides," he said, "I'm good at it."

e. Consider: if desires define our created purpose with inevitable behavior, then this man who is gifted at swindling, loves it, is driven to do it, should continue doing it with our blessing!

[1] We should say, "Hey, you were born a swindler, etc. God created you this way."

[2] That's what you are. :., "thou shalt swindle."

f. What kind of world are we creating if our desires define us?

[1] "Oh, that just applies to our sexuality."

[2] No, if it applies at all, it applies across the board…

[3] "But I've felt these desires all my life."

[4] Our swindler can't remember when he didn't want to swindle people -- his parents, his brother, his friends…

[5] So, when he swindles you, we'll just say God created him that way, and let it go. That reasoning will solve our jail over-population.

g. This is not about sexual insanity, it's about moral/social insanity!

2. Read on: 6:11-20 --

a. v. 12 -- The NIV here does a good job of translating from the Greek, and in pointing out that Paul's argument stems from correspondence he has had with the Corinthians.

b. It puts "Everything is permissible to me" in quotations; as if Paul is quoting something they have said.

c Why does that seem to make sense? Because the 2 parts of the verse do not match.

Point: "Everything is permissible for me"-- (counterpoint) but not everything is beneficial.

"Everything is permissible for me"-- but I will not be mastered by anything."

d. v. 13 is critical.

"Food for the stomach & the stomach for food"--but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord."

[1] Their argument, "Food for the stomach…" says that this is an issue of APPETITE.

[2] "What do you do when you get hungry? You eat! No big deal. ...get thirsty? Drink! No one faults you for either. … want to have sex? You have sex! -- It's just an appetite!"

[3] Does Paul agree in v. 13?

[a] NO! God will destroy them both. You don't reduce sexuality to appetite.

[b] Note 4 Pauline principles regarding sexuality.

1. It cannot be reduced to just an appetite.

2.? Sexuality has a spiritual component.

3. It is a realm that can give God honor & glory.

4. Sexuality reflects the spirit within you.

3. Every generation has its own set of sexual problems. So don't blame any other generation for anything. & that is because people have not gone to God to define Sexuality as He meant it to be.

4. Prov. sums up this sexual insanity thus, 6:32-33 -- "The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. ³³ Wounds and disgrace he will find, And his reproach will not be blotted out."

II. There is another side of the coin to Sexual Insanity.

A. Was God ashamed to create sexuality? -- No!

1. Why then are we so often ashamed to discuss it?

2. Certainly, Satan has taken something intended to give God glory and has used it to bring sin & shame upon us.

2. But that is no reason for us to forget that it is still intended to give God glory.

B. Listen to Proverbs. This is how a parent teaches a child. Straightforward. Honestly. Without embarrassment.

1. 5:15-19 -- "Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well. ¹⁶ Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? ¹⁷ Let them be yours alone & not for strangers with you. ¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. ¹⁹As a loving hind & a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated (intoxicated) always with her love."

a. The imagery is explicit. Here & in Song of Solomon the woman is the well, the man is the spring.

b. Be intoxicated!

2. Too often the sins of having sex with someone other than your spouse have been so drilled into us, that some carry an aversion to sex into marriage.

a. For some sex is merely a duty to be performed, & they endure it.

b. I Cor. 7:3 -- "The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband." I'm doing my duty!

c. Enduring Christians? What does God think of it?

[1] I just hate having to go to worship all the time, but I know I have to, so I'll endure it.

[2] I'd like to hit so-&-so right in the face, but God says to be at peace and love each other, so I'll buck up and endure it.

[3] I lived thru some pretty hard times and worked my way up with no help from anybody. So, it irks me that we do benevolence for lazy people who could do it the way I did, but God says to do benevolence and give, so I'll grit my teeth and do some of it.

d. To view sex in marriage in such a way is to pervert it as surely as the adulterer perverts it.

e. There is a better way.

III. Sexual Sanity

A. God's way.

1. Gen. 2:24-25 -- "and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."

a. thru out scripture, becoming one flesh is a reference to sexual union, and nakedness is a euphemism for the same.

b. Sex between a husband & wife is not only the natural order of things, it is a gift of God, and blessed by Him.

2. Heb. 13:4 -- "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled;"

b. Marital sex is to be completely private & discreet, but totally without shame, guilt, or embarrassment.

c. When each enters the union to give pleasure to the other, love is served, and God is glorified!

B. I Cor. 7 and the giving of self.

vv. 4-5 -- "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

1. Suppose mom & Timmy are visiting with another family. Susie admires Timmy's Thomas (train engine). It is obvious she does not have such toys, so the mother takes it from Timmy, gives it to Susie and says, "Timmy would like for you to have Thomas."

2. Would Timmy agree? Or go along because he had to?

3. It is one thing for God to say the spouse's body belongs to the other, it is another for you to cheerfully & lovingly give it yourself.

4. Have you ever said it to each other (& meant it), "I give my body to you. It is my gift of love." You said it when you got married. Did you mean it?

C. God's plan for sexual sanity is 2 people who have saved themselves for each other, &, once married, to give themselves completely …..

1. Song of Solomon 4:15-5:1 -- Solomon says to his bride: "You are a garden spring, A well of fresh water, And streams flowing from Lebanon."

And she responds: ¹⁶"Awake, O north wind, And come, wind of the south; Make my garden breathe out fragrance, Let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden And eat its choice fruits!"

2. Marital sex is our celebration of love, our giving to fulfill the needs of our spouse, our union into one flesh.

D. And it is the picture of our relationship with God, the most intimate, most complete spiritual union possible.

1. Rev. 19:7 -- "Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready."

21:2 -- "… made ready as a bride adorned for her husband."

2. Are you ready?

I Cor. 6:9-10 --

"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders ¹⁰ nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

I Cor. 6:11-20 (NIV) --

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

¹² "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. ¹³ "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"--but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. ¹⁴ By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. ¹⁵ Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! ¹⁶ Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." ¹⁷ But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. ¹⁹Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price.

Therefore honor God with your body.