Am I An Help Meet?

by Dorothy King

1. Who was created first? Gen,. 2: 4-8; I Tim. 2: 12-15.

A. Verses 9-14: Describe the environment of the Garden of Eden.

B. Verses 15-17: man's home with only one recorded prohibition to live by.

2. Verses 18-25: Man;s completeness -- WOMAN!

A. Define "help meet" (suitable).

1. Our English word "woman" comes from an Anglo-Saxon term, "womb-man," meaning the man with the womb. In Hebrew, the words are ish and ishsha. The relation between the terms man and woman is evident in many languages (Coffman). Note that there is a relationship but two distinct words for man and woman--two separate beings. "Woman came from man's rib -- not from his foot that he might rule over her, nor from his head that she might dominate him, but from his side that she might be his equal and companion," as often reasoned.

3. First marriage: God presented the woman to man. Adam, not God, called her woman and named her "Eve" (Genesis 3: 20). Note characteristics and weakness of woman and man (differences): As a general rule, women are more gullible, pay more attention to beautiful things; man easily swayed by a woman!

4. Role of Woman: Did Eve lose her special place at Adam's side by sinning first? Genesis 3: 16. Woman was in a lowly estate in all nations for thousands of years, but her place or status in life has greatly improved under Christianity. See Colossians 3: 18, 19; Ephesians 5: 22-23; I Timothy 5: 14; I Timothy 2: 13-15.

5. Am I a hindrance or an help to my husband? Is's been said that some women can throw out the back door more than a man can bring in the front! See the woman described in Proverbs 31: 10ff.

6. Do we share the same ideals and goals in life? Mark 3: 25.

A. If husbands and wives don't develop priorities together, they they'll most certainly develop problems together.

B.Are we developing a MATRIARCHAL SOCIETY?

C. Are wives forced to make "most" of the decisions?

D. Men and women look at the world differently, so how can husbands and wives begin to have the same goals and ideals? Answer: Love and good communication. An example: If we can decide that serving God is the most important goal we have, the the decision will already have been made when the time comes to attend worship and Bible study. . . no discussion is necessary. See Luke 12: 31.

7. How much alike shold we be? How much in common?

8. Should each have his/her own space within marriage?

9. Do spite and bitterness have a place in marriage?

A. Spite comes as the result of resentment and bitterness; from envy and jealousy; self-pity and hatred. The Bible associates these wiwth misery. See Ephesians 4: 31-32.

10. Should I work outside the home? What are the problems with a wife working outside the home?

11. Should there be "my money" and "his money?"

12. Should I expect him to help with the children? the housework?

A. Who should discipline? Colossians 3: 20, 21; I Timothy 3: 4, 5, 12; Proverbs 12: 1; 13: 1; 15: 5; 19:18; 22:6; 22: 15; 23: 13; and more.

13. Should he expect me to help with his work?

14. How impoortant is his family? my family? Genesis 2: 24 gives instructions at the time of marriage, but throughout Biblical history, extended families have been of utmost iimportance; not only for support but for the fulfillment of responsibilities.

15. Should theere be secrets between us? If so, what kind of?

16. What about SEX? Genesis 1: 28; 9:1; Hebrews 13: 4.

A. The old adage, "a time and place for everything," applies to the marital relationship only in terms of the sex act itself. When we ask, "What is the place of sex in marriage?" the answer is "Everywhere."

"For sexual love in today's partnership-marriage partakes of the spirit as well as the body. It is an elevated and complex emotion of which the sexual urge is only one component. Sexuality as part of love becomes the body's expression of love, an alliance between two people for grappling with the uncertain forces that beset them all during their lives. The human soul is lonely, aware and frightened by his loneliness in the immensity of life. Somehow, when a man and woman come together , their separate pools of loneliness diminish. Their bodies meet in a state of tension. Their whole beings merge in the unity of the climax, and in that moment these two are as one. That sense of togetherness becomes the core of their marriage . . . The young woman who applies her intelligence and her heart to the task of finding out how to be completely happy in her husband's arms endows him with a particular Paradise -- and draws one hundred percent in dividends for herself. This, the one experience two individuals can only have together, shutting out the rest of the world, is truly a partnership in which each one invests an equal share, enjoys equal participation, and reaps rewards beyond measure." The Sexual Responsibility of Woman by Maxine Davis.

17. How important is ATTITUDE in marriage?

A. How do you change: ungrateful heaert to grateful; resentment, bitterness to forgiveness, love; an anxious, fearful heart to one of trust, peace; a selfish, self-centered heart to a self-less, self-sacrificing one? Read about it in II Timothy 3: 16.

Scriptures for additional study: Proverbs 12: 4; 17: 1; 19: 13: 21: 9; II Thessalonians 3: 13; Philippians 4: 13; I Peter 3: 1-2.

A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home. -- Chinese proverb.

"Lord, help me look into my life

And find the faults therein,

Then give me the stgrength to wee them out

And keep me pure and clean.

"Thy guiding hand alone can lead

Me on to daily live

A fuller ricker lkife for Thee

My all to others give.

"Keep me so busy with the task

Of keeping self in line,

I'll have no time for other's faults

Nor waste of precious time.

"It's much too easy to observe

The other person's faults,

When all the while the thing I need

Is to heed what Thou has taught."

(From Unto The Furtherance of the Gospel, Third Year Class of 1970-71, F. H. C., p. 87).

"God never made anything so beautiful as a woman who is proud to be a woman and finds fulfillment in being the wife of the man she loves." (God Knew He Needced Her, by Cleon Lyles, p. 25).

"Oh Father, help me to be this woman! In Jesus name, Amen."